Welcome to this Teen Hero Training on Axing Anxiety
I am Joey the Creator, a confidence and success coach for teens
And I want you to picture this… metropolis is burning
The great city is just a mess. Thieves are robbing banks, orphanages are crumbling, bad guys are running amok
And sitting on the corner of main street, in the middle of it all is Superman or SuperGirl for the ladies, with head in hands looking glum. Sullen. Beaten.
Jimmy Olson, young photographer for the Daily Planet, runs up and says
“Superman/Supergirl, there you are! The city needs you! Lex Luthor has overthrown the Mayor, riots consume the streets, it’s chaos out there!
And Superman or Supergirl just sighs and says, “I can’t. There’s too much. I’m not strong enough.”
Jimmy Olsen looks dumbfounded. “What? Not strong enough?? You’re the strongest person on earth! Fly around at superspeed and save everyone!!”
“It won’t work,” says the dejected hero. “I can’t win. I don’t have it in me…”
And together they watch the world burn.
What is the option here? How is the story going to end well? How is everything going to change?
There’s only one, really. Superman or Supergirl has to find it within themself to access the power they have to save the day and change the story.
What’s not an option? Jimmy Olsen saving the day. He can’t. He’s not physically able to. Doesn’t have the power to do it.
Metropolis is a metaphor for our life sometimes. Sometimes it’s chaotic. Sometimes there is a lot of bad stuff going on that we don’t like.
The question is, who do you believe you are in the story? Superman/Supergirl or Jimmy Olsen?
I know who you are, but do you know?
You are the hero of your story. You are not the sidekick.
Sidekicks do not have the power to change their story. Heroes always do.
You and I were born to be the hero of our stories, but we don’t always feel that way, do we?
Sometimes we feel like the sidekick.
But in those moments, we are not Jimmy Olsen. We are Superman or Supergirl. The hero who is experiencing some bad days, some dark nights
But we always have it in us to change it. Always.
I help teens go from sidekick to hero. That’s my thing.
I take teens from being someone who feels like they can’t change their story to someone who totally can
You become a hero by mastering the four Hero Arenas, Headspace, Emotions, Relationships, and Objectives
This Teen Hero Training covers emotions, specifically anxiety, stress, and overwhelm.
It’s your Axing Anxiety Starter Pack
I’ll be sharing three steps you can take to minimize and manage those feelings
These things have worked for me, my wife, my kids, and a gripload of teens I’ve worked with over the years
The first Step to axing anxiety is to shift our response to anxiety
The most common responses our brain goes to when we feel anxiety is to avoid, resist, or react
Avoiding looks like not starting our homework because we are overwhelmed with school
Or withdrawing from social situations because we feel anxiety when talking to others
Resisting looks like suppressing our emotions, forcing a smile and a laugh even though we are stressed
Fighting the feeling because we don’t want to feel it, it means everything has gone wrong
Reacting is taking any actions that we don’t really want to take
Yelling at someone, being snarky or rude
Even though that’s not who we want to be
Those are our natural responses to anxiety, stress, and overwhelm
But I don’t want you to do any of those. Avoid, resist, or react
I want you to do secret option number 4. I want you to allow it.
“Wait, wut? Joey, I thought this whole thing was about axing anxiety. Killing it good!”
It is, but this is one of those things in life that don’t make any sense, but works
You see, we magnify our unpleasant feelings when we avoid, resist, or react to them.
But, when we shift our response from avoid, resist, react to allow, we get a little more control over it
We can feel a little bit better.
So, step number 1 is to shift from viewing anxiety as something we need to eliminate to something we need to tame.
It’s a subtle shift but it will make all the difference
And help us do Step 2
Step 2 is to transform your anxiety from a beast to a blip
When we feel anxiety, stress, or overwhelm it seems huge, right?
Like monstrous sometimes!
Once you’ve done step one, shift your response to allowing it, then you can shrink it to just a blip using BLIP
Breathe, locate, imagine, permit
First, Breathe. Any controlled breathing is fine, I like either box breathing or the physiological sigh
Box breathing is breathing in through your nose for 4 seconds, holding it for 4 seconds, breathing out through your nose for 4 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, repeat
4 steps each 4 seconds long, like the four sides of a box
The physiological sigh is fun, it’s two deep breaths in through your nose in a row, and then letting out one long breath through your mouth with a slight hiss for as long as you can
So, first breathe
Second is locate
Our emotions show up somewhere in our body, so find where your stress and anxiety show up for you
Your chest? Your stomach? Your head? Those are the common places but it can really show up anywhere.
Locating it helps you to better allow it to be there
It’s hard to allow a friend to stay over if you don’t know where they are in your house
Next is imagine, this is the fun one
Our emotions are very abstract, so it’s hard to manage them
When we imagine what they look like, it makes them more concrete and therefor easier to manage
When we imagine our anxiety, it can look like anything we want it to
You can give it a shape, color, and a texture
EX: red trapezoid that is rough or spiky
You can imagine what it’s doing, spinning, pulsing, sinking
It can be anything from anywhere
You can even imagine that it is a little creature from your favorite anime show or something
For example, my anxiety is a black and blue lightning storm that is swirling around in my chest
The last part of BLIP is to permit it to be there
Give it permission to be a part of your life
After you’ve breathed, look at where it is in your body, imagine what it looks like and say
“Hello little black and blue lightning storm. I give you permission to be here.”
This acceptance signals to your mind that everything is okay
Just because you are feeling this way does not mean anything has gone wrong, that you are broken, or anything like that
It's not some big beast of a problem. It’s just a little blip in your life
Now, step 3! Identify the source
Your anxiety probably isn’t coming from nowhere
Now, for some people it may. I know there are genetics or other biological factors at play for some people
A doctor or therapist will better be able to help you with that
But, what I have found to be true for me is that my anxiety, stress, and overwhelm are always coming from a thought
Some view I have of myself or others or the world is causing my anxiety
Whether I am aware of it or not
Sometimes you straight up know what thought is causing your anxiety
I am going to fail this test
I don’t have enough time to get everything done
No one likes me at school!
Other times, the thought may be subconscious and you’ll have to create one that fits the scenario
I don’t know why I’m anxious, but I do have that game today and being worried that I’m going to perform badly seems to fit
This moves us into the Headspace section of the HERO Arenas, and there are other tools I have to help with this there
You can always get access to all my tools by signing up for a free trial to my Sidekick to Hero gamified app for teens at sidekicktohero.com
But for now, identify the thought that is the source of your anxiety and work on disbelieving it
And you’re probably believing that thought pretty hard so it will take some work to get your brain to let go of it, even loosen its grip just a little
These three steps make up your Axing Anxiety starter pack, shift your response, transform your anxiety, identify the source
I want to challenge you to use these three steps every time you start feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed
Using them will help you chop anxiety down to size and make it more manageable
Remember, this is your story and you are the hero
Which means you have the power within you to rise up and change your life
You just gotta tap into it
Now get out there and live life in hero mode