We all want freedom, especially in our teen years.
Freedom to do anything or nothing.
Whatever we want.
And we may mislabel this as freedom FROM responsibility.
But, in reality, freedom is wasted without responsibility. And that's today's secret for an awesome life.
Viktor Frankl says freedom is useless if we don’t have two forms of responsibility:
Being responsible for fulfilling a meaning and being responsible to someone.
Let’s look at that first one.
Free time is great. We don’t have anyone telling us what to do or anything we HAVE to do
But if we are in that state for long, we get bored.
That’s because we need, we crave, a meaning to fulfill.
That’s the first thing we need to be responsible to, fulfilling a meaning.
Now this can look like a lot of different things to a lot of different people.
I’m not here to tell you exactly what it should be, nor do I really have that power.
But I do know there is a spectrum of activities that we can do with our freedom that range in value, from not valuable at all to extremely valuable, but people can find meaning in all of it.
Doing things to hurt other people is way on the lower value side of the spectrum
Bullying, teasing, physically hurting other people
You can use your freedom to do that and can even find meaning in doing it
But I find that meaning is usually of a lower quality.
Doing things for ourselves is on the middle-low, middle, to middle-high
This depends on what it is
Doing things for ourselves at the expense of others, like working out so we can be stronger than someone else, that’s more middle low
The meaning we find in that can be a little weaker
Doing things that kinda just ignores others is in the middle
I feel video games and other screen time activities falls into this category. Not bad but not really good either.
Doing things that improves ourselves so we can better suited to help others, like working out so we can help and inspire others, that’s more middle high
The meaning we find in that can be more lasting
Doing things for others is on the end with the highest value
Serving others, helping people in need,
The meaning we find in this can almost be eternal, it can last forever
We are always going to feel fulfilled helping others
So, freedom without being responsible for fulfilling a meaning is boredom
You may enjoy it for a bit, especially if it’s right after school or a period of time where you worked hard
But a prolonged period of time where you are free to do whatever you want and you DON’T have something meaningful to pursue, that’s boring
You’ve probably felt it this summer. Some boredom.
Some people are even CRAZY and are kinda excited for school to start back up because they were getting a little bored
And I know you may be saying, “I just want to see my friends! That’s the only reason why I’m excited to go back.”
You’re just proving my point
Being a friend or having a social life, that is a meaning you feel responsible to fulfill!
If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t care to see your friends or anyone for that matter
And some of you might fall into that category. You don’t see the meaning in being social. You can get that back, though.
So a summer full of church camps and working hard to make money and family time can be a very fulfilling summer
If you work to find the meaning in each of those things
Now, that second form of responsibility. Someone to whom you are responsible to
Frankl calls it a being to whom we are responsible
That sounds like he’s talking about God or a deity of some kind, though Frankl says his work doesn’t explicitly promote religion
But think about it, a God is a pretty powerful person to be responsible to. An all seeing God sees everything you’re doing and that’s a great motivator to use your freedom wisely, toward a great and valuable purpose
Many people feel responsible to God or a deity in their religion, I know I do.
But whether you’re religious or not, there are other people to whom we can be responsible to
Number one is our parents
Generally speaking, no one else on earth cares about our success as much as our parents
Having them as an accountability partner in your worthwhile pursuits, helping you to spend your freedom in meaningful ways, is powerful
You can also have responsibility to siblings, friends, and peers
If you and your brother are going to start a lawn mowing business together
Or you and your friend have an exercise goal
Or you and students in a club or team that you’re on
That can also provide some powerful motivation to fill your freedom with actions that will move you toward a mutual goal that you have
And of course, one person we should all feel responsibility to is ourselves
More specifically, our Hero Selves
You in hero mode are powerful. It’s your best you.
Treat that as an extra person you are responsible to. You don’t want to let Hero You down
Knowing you have all these eyes on you, watching you, rooting for you, wanting you to make it, that’s creates a strong feeling of responsibility and that will help you use your freedom wisely
Your freedom isn’t going away because school is starting
Your freedom to act can NEVER be taken away, really
Unless you don’t have responsibility.
Then, your freedom isn’t taken away. But it might as well be. Because, you ain’t using it.