We all have things or accomplishments that we want but don’t have.
And we believe that when we get them, we will finally be happy. That our life will finally have meaning.
But if we wait find meaning till the game is over, we will never find it
Because the game never ends,
That’s today’s secret for an awesome life. Life is an infinite game. If you wait till you win or get the thing you want to find meaning, then you’ll be waiting a long time. So find meaning in the pursuit.
When you don’t have the thing or accomplishment you want, that creates tension.
Tension gives us meaning and purpose. Something to strive towards.
Yet, we assume there will be an end of tension once we have our desire.
That reaching the goal will bring relief
We call this winning, arriving, accomplishing and we see it as a final destination that means we will have “made it.” Our life will finally mean something.
But this is an illusion.
And if we don’t recognize that it’s an illusion, the pursuit will become frustrating. We will make it mean that we are failing. Because we don’t realize that the happiness, the fulfillment, the meaning is actually found in the pursuit of our desires, rather than in the attainment of them.

This is because we misunderstand the nature of the game we are playing.
We are not playing a finite game. A game with an ending and a final score. We will never not want something. We’ll never be totally satisfied with where we are and what we have.
We are playing an infinite game. A game where we keep taking shots, making shots, and missing shots. A game that never ends. And this is actually a good thing.
If the game ever were to end we would be left without direction.
We think it would be the best. That we would prop up in a hammock somewhere, kick back, sipping on a virgin pina colada, basking in the glory of our having “made it.”
But in reality, life would lose its meaning. Because we actually find meaning in pursuing the thing, not in having the thing.
Think about it, how many times have we gotten the thing we wanted
the win, the trophy, the victory, the grade, the boyfriend or girlfriend, the car, the clothing,
and we find that our desire to want more isn’t gone.
Not that there's anything wrong with the thing we have, we just now want to pursue something else.
We wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend for so long, then we got one, we’re happy with them, and now we want a car, or more friends.
I can’t wait till I’m in high school, then I’ll be someone.
I can’t wait till I’m a senior. Then I’ll be someone.
I can’t wait till I’m in college, then I’ll be someone.
You can be someone now!
This can be incorrectly labeled as never being happy. But the real diagnosis is we don’t know how to be happy during the pursuit
We’ve all heard the cute saying, “Happiness is not a destination, but a way of life.”
And we hate it when we don’t have something we want. We think it’s the stupidest saying ever.
I’ll totally be happier when I’m a senior. And maybe you will be.
Maybe getting on the soccer team or getting that job or that A on a test does make you happy.
That’s not it, though. It’s not over. There is always more to pursue.

Our founding fathers said we are all endowed with the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I think far too often we misinterpret that to mean everyone deserves to be happy.
We don’t deserve to be happy. We deserve to pursue happiness. And that pursuit can only be there because of tension, and tension only exists because we don’t have what we want. That pursuit IS where we are the happiest, or at least it can be if we don’t spend all our time in the pursuit hating it, despising not being where we want.

But we need to not be where we want to be. That creates tension. Without the tension we wouldn’t know what direction to push. We wouldn’t know where to put our energy. And putting energy toward a worthwhile goal is where we find meaning in life.

I don’t find as much meaning in having the newest phone as I do in working to earn the money to buy it. Because there is purpose in the pursuit.
I don’t find as much meaning in having a boyfriend or girlfriend as I do in working to become the person someone else would love being with. And we can and should keep pursuing that even after we are dating someone.
And sure, I may be splitting hairs here. But it’s a very important hair to split.
Like, what’s the difference?
I’m not saying that you should never get the thing you are pursuing. I’m saying having the thing you are pursuing won’t be the thing that gives you purpose. The fact that you had the freedom and the choice to pursue it and then did, THAT is the most powerful thing. That is the thing that means the most. And congrats, you got the thing, that’s awesome. But there will be another thing and another and another. What are you going to do then?
Are you going to complain that you always have to keep working toward something? Always have to keep trying? Are you going to look at someone else, wrongfully assume they have everything and don’t need to pursue anything, and wish that was you?

I want you to adjust the picture of success in your head. It’s not you standing on the first place podium. It’s you running the race.
We need there to be a difference between where we are and what we want. If those two are ever the same for long, we lose meaning. Drive. Purpose.

We need that tension. And Viktor Frankl says people who are spared this tension often create it in unhealthy ways. Video games. That’s fake tension. Social media. Presents a false image of who you should be, creating unhealthy tension. Friend drama. Creates unhealthy tension around someone else needing to change. Victimhood. There is something that I want BUT I CAN’T GET IT EVER because I’m a victim. There is no drive created there, only a tension that can never be resolved. An itch that can never be scratched.
The thing that you are pursuing has to be attainable by your own powers. I’m not saying you can’t ever score a goal in the game. You totally can. I’m just saying we’re not playing so the game will end.

The point of the pursuit isn’t to end the game. Because the game never ends.
The point of the pursuit is to have a direction to move in, to struggle to reach. So enjoy the pursuit.
Rather than being frustrated wanting something you don’t have
Enjoy trying to get the thing you want. Then you’ll find you have happiness even before you get the thing you thought would bring it.